Okay. I am just going to say it. I try to live by what I preach. I do not want to be the person who judges other people. But I am also a fat chick on a diet and exercising regularly for the first time in a decade. Since the first of January, I have lost twelve pounds, so I am giving myself a pass on what I am about to say.

I HATE SKINNY, FIT TRAINERS. I obviously do not really hate them. I do not know them, and most seem like delightful people. But. Give—me. A. Break.

“Just get on down, and using your core, just pull your legs and hands up in a jack-knife.”

Seriously? Seriously. SER I OUS LY.

You think my core can do that? It cannot. Nope. I will keep trying. But stop. No. I can’t, “just do that.” You are, in fact, right, skinny trainer not even sweating yet. This is hard. Yes, I know if it was easy, then it wouldn’t be working out. Thanks. I am SO GLAD you can be pithy. I can’t breathe, and my exercise mat is utterly full of sweat.

Also, stop smiling. STOP SMILING. No one smiles while they are working out. And no. Maybe you are not hearing me through my phone as I shout back at you that it doesn’t “feel good.” It feels something. It feels like a lot of something. That something AIN’T GOOD.

Can we go back to the sweating? How is it that I am sweating by the end of the WARM UP, which in my world should be the ACTUAL FUCKING WORK OUT – yup, I swore. I am really that passionate about it. Where are all the overweight, red-faced, sweating panting instructors?

I am HERE for that.

Honestly, do I love CentrFit? Yup, sure do. Are the instructors outstanding and actually make you feel like you can do it no matter how out of shape you are? Yup, more than anything else has in the past decade. But this last workout was rough, and I reserve the right to go there.

Okay. I have to go drink a protein shake for recovery and catch-up on water intake for the day.

Cause, yeah, getting all healthy and stuff. Why am I doing this again?

Yeah, yeah. Lose weight, feel better, get healthier. Whatever.

Currently, that is how I see it…

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