So, I realized something as I sat to write this. I said that my next blog was going to be about the current political situation in America. But I can’t even. I can’t. My feelings on this are still raw and right on edge.

So before I can even analyze how I feel about it and put it into words that I am willing to put into the world, I have to have a flow to process my feelings. Fair warning that in my continued effort to actually produce blogs, that is what this one will be. This means if you continue, you will be entering into the flow of my mind – which I admit is non-linear, sporadic, and even nonsensical at points.

I am terrified. It is impossible not to be. I already have admitted this many, many times. It will be repeated many more times. Even if we get through the inauguration without any more violence, our country’s state is terrifying me. How did we get here? How, as a nation, as a society, did we get here?

I watched some of the impeachment hearings but could not handle them. If I heard any more politicians try to compare the insurrection on Jan 6 to the BLM protests over the summer, my head would have lifted up and spun around about three times.

No. They are not the same. At all. Yes, at many of the protests, things got out of hand. There were riots, and there was violence. However, those were protests that had some people involved that got out of control. It was not an insurrection, as Jan 6 was.

BLM is not about a bunch of petulant people who have nothing but privilege following the marching orders of a tyrannical maniac. The core members of BLM are not people who want to be seen as above any other community. They are BIPOC who are fighting for the lives of themselves and their children. They want to go out of their doors and not fear that they will have their lives threatened simply for their skin color.

They are hoping that they can change the world in a better way for them, for their children, and for the entire next generation. Of course, there are also white allies willing to stand up and say white privilege is real. It’s at the root of systemic racism. We are eager to stand up to the mythology of white supremacy to help the BIPOC communities thrive. The violence that erupted came from hundreds of years of anger and hurt, of being wronged by a society that puts skin lightness above all else.

Do I agree with the rioting and violence that broke out at the BLM rallies? No. Of course not. Violence is truly never the answer. Ever.

Do I see where some of those who were angry enough to let it boil over into that behavior was coming from? Do I understand the frustration, the pain, the hurt, and the absolute doneness they were feeling? Yes. Of course. And I can’t judge them for that.

What happened on Jan 6 was sedition. It was not a community of people fighting to be safe in their own skin. Literally to be secure in their own skin. This was a group of people who were following the wishes of a man who can not handle the fact that he lost a free and fair election. It was the United States leader throwing a fit befitting of the most spoiled rotten toddler and leading others to perform violent acts on his behalf.

Not only that, but we saw a group of people that have touted the All Lives or Blue Lives matter lines to those out there supporting BLM shouting about hanging the Vice President and looking for Speaker Pelosi. Not only that, they viciously and horrifically attacked those Blue Lives. They hit them with fire extinguishers. They beat them with flagpoles and disregarded their lives to forward their cause.

What was their cause? Overthrowing the same government, they hide behind to tout their white supremacy bull. They scream about the first amendment because Trump has been banned from social media. Social media sites are private companies that have terms and conditions.

Trump was given a pass for many years – YEARS – and was finally removed for violating the terms and conditions of those companies for using lies and conspiracy theories to advance hateful and violent behavior.

Moving on.

I don’t even know. Like I said initially, this was a thread for me to go ahead and try to get a grip on what I feel. I have come to the end of this particular flow. I just am blowing out words of anger and disbelief and do not even know if they make any sense to anyone else. I know that I have so much more that I think and feel about all of it, but I get tired when I sit and think about it. I get mad and sad and riled up and frustrated and all of the feels.

I don’t know. I usually try to bring the fun at the end of a long rambling rant like this or leave it on a high note. I can’t right now. I am just done. I am done worrying about the rest of the white race and their comfort level. We all should get comfortable being uncomfortable because that is the only way we will be able to have the conversations and do the work it will take to start moving our society in the right direction. To amplify BIPOC voices, fight for equality for everyone.

I guess that is it for now. Sadly, that is how I see it.

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